Mu murwa mukuru wa Kigali, hari umugabo witwa Ntirenganya Jean de Dieu, w’imyaka 42. Yari amaze imyaka 10 ashatse umugore witwa Clarisse, w’imyaka 34, kuba mwiza ntawabihakana kandi Azwiho kwambara akaberwa . Bamaze gushakana nyuma yigihe gito, Clarisse yahise atangira gusura ahantu hatandukanye nko muri sauna, massage na gym, ku buryo byabaye nk’akazi ke ka buri munsi.
Jean de Dieu, umugabo utuje kandi udakunda kuvuga cyane, yatangiye kubibona nk’ibisanzwe kuko yatekerezaga ko ari uburyo bwiza bwo kwiyitaho. Yongeragaho ko afite akazi kamutwara igihe kinini muri banki imwe ikomeye tutashatse kuvuga , ku buryo yumvaga adakwiye kumubangamira. Ariko nyuma y’imyaka 3, ibintu byatangiye guhinduka.
Clarisse yatangiye gutaha atinze, rimwe na rimwe yitwaje ko gym barangiye amasaha y’ijoro, cyangwa ko massage yatinze kubera ‘clients benshi’. Yakundaga guhindura imyenda, akambara utwenda dufashe cyane ndetse anatangira kuvuga amagambo yuzuyemo ubwibone, agira ati: “Uko nabaye, ntabwo nshobora kwihanganira umugabo utanyitaho cyane .”
Jean de Dieu yagiye yumva amakuru atandukanye aturuka ku nshuti ze n’abaturanyi, bamubwira ko Clarisse aba agaragara cyane mu nsisiro zitandukanye, rimwe na rimwe ari kumwe n’abagabo . Ariko ntiyabyitayeho cyane kuko yari azi neza ko yamuhaye urukundo n’ibyangombwa byose nk’umugabo.
Umunsi umwe ku cyumweru, Jean de Dieu yaje gufata icyemezo cyo kujyana n’umugore we muri gym aho yamaraga amasaha menshi. Agezeyo, yakubiswe nnkuba . Abakozi ba gym bamuzi ariko babaye nk’abikanze, bamwe baramwirinda, abandi baramwitegereza cyane.
Yaje kuganira n’umwe mu bakozi baho amwizeza ibanga, undi amusubiza agira ati:
“Tubonye muzaanye tugira amakenga yo kuvuga, ariko uriya mudamu wawe ngo ni Clarisse usanzwe aza hano, afite umusore umwe bakunda gufatana cyane nyuma ya sport, rimwe na rimwe bagasohokana nk’abakundana.”
Byaramubabaje cyane. Mu ijoro ryakurikiyeho, Jean de Dieu yagerageje kuganira na Clarisse amubaza niba hari ibyo amuhisha. Undi yamusubije yitwaje uburenganzira bwo kwiyitaho ati:
“Kuba najya muri sauna cyangwa massage ntibivuze ko ndi indaya, ahubwo ndashaka kugaragara neza, n’abandi bagabo ndababona bafite abagore bita ku mibiri, ariko wowe ukibaza impamvu meze neza.”
IMPAMVU ABAGABO BAGOMBA KUGIRA UBWENGE MU GIHE NK’IKI
Iyo umugabo atangiye kubona ko umugore we ashishikajwe cyane n’ibikorwa bifitanye isano n’umubiri nko kujya muri sauna, massage na gym, ndetse bidaherekejwe n’impinduka nziza mu mibanire yabo, hari ibimenyetso bimwe na bimwe akwiye gutangira kugenzura:
- Kumenya neza aho ajya n’uwo bajyana: Aho kugira ngo ahore yibaza ibitandukanye, umugabo akwiye kugerageza kubaza uko gahunda z’umugore we zimeze. Ibi bituma n’uwari ufite umugambi mubi atangira kugira ubwoba.
- Kugirana ikiganiro gitomoye: Kugira ngo hamenyekane ukuri, ni ngombwa kuganira mu bwitonzi no mu rukundo. Ntirenganya Jean de Dieu yaje kubikora ariko atinze, byari byararenze.
- Kwitonda ku myitwarire y’umubiri: Uko umugore yambara, uko avuga, ndetse n’igihe atangira guhindura inyandiko cyangwa ibisubizo ku butumwa ni ibimenyetso bikomeye. Iyo umuntu ahindutse cyane ku buryo butari busanzwe, hari ikibyihishe inyuma.
CLARISSE YEMEJE ICYAHA CYE
Hashize igihe gito, Clarisse yaje gutabwa muri yombi n’inzego z’umutekano nyuma y’uko hari umugabo umwe wari usanzwe afatwa nk’umucuruzi ukomeye tutashatse kuvuga , afatiwe mu bikorwa bitemewe n’amategeko, maze Clarisse nawe afatirwa ku rutonde rw’abagore yishyuriraga gahunda zose za gym na massage.
Ubwo yaganirizwaga na polisi, yemeye ko yari amaze igihe ari mu rukundo rw’ibanga n’uwo mucuruzi, akavuga ko yatangiye kumwiyegereza ubwo bahuriraga muri gym, kandi ko ari we wamwigishije ko umugabo we adakwiriye umugore mwiza nka we.
AMASOMO KU BAGABO N’ABASORE
- Kwitondera impinduka: Iyo umugore wawe atangiye kugira imyitwarire itandukanye n’iyo mwari musanzwe mubana, ntukabyihorere. Impinduka zigaragara ziba zifite inkomoko.
- Gushimangira urukundo n’ubusabane: Umugore witaweho kandi ufite iteka mu rugo, yirinda kugwa mu bishuko. Iyo umugabo adashobora gutega amatwi cyangwa kugaragaza ko ashishikajwe n’umugore we, hari abandi bamwumvisha ibyo akeneye.
- Kumenya aho mugenzi wawe aherereye: Nubwo abantu bafite uburenganzira bwo gukora ibyo bashaka, urugo rugira inshingano. Kumenya ibyo umugore wawe akora, aho ajya, n’uwo bari kumwe si ukumusuzugura, ni ukumwitaho.
Nyuma haje kuba Urubanza rwarezwe Ntirenganya Jean de Dieu, rwasabaga gatanya. Urukiko rwemeye ko Clarisse yarenze ku nshingano z’ishyingiranwa, rumutegeka gusubiza bimwe mu mutungo wari waraguzwe mu izina ry’umugabo, ndetse bemeza ko abana bazaba ku ruhande rwa se kugeza igihe bazaba bakuze bihagije.
Sauna, massage na gym si bibi. Ahubwo, ikibazo ni uburyo bikoreshwa n’impamvu bibyihishwamo. Umugabo wese agomba kumenya ko gukunda umugore atari ukumurekera byose, ahubwo ni ukumuba hafi no kumenya niba ibyo akora bimuganisha ku byiza cyangwa atangiye kuzimira mu bishuko.
Urukundo ni ukurinda uwo ukunda mbere y’uko abandi bamwegurira urukundo rw’ibinyoma.
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